Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Starting to pave the road
Hi Everyone,
We have completed our first month as a new support group in Waukesha, WI. The group is fantastic, filled with wonderful people, and growing every week. Please let others know they are not alone and there are others who completely understand what they are going through.
Thank you and continue to spread the word!
I missed last night's meeting because my sixteen yr old son had a major mood swing and was out of control. It took about three hours to bring him off the ledge and while I tried to be calm, I did raise my voice at times to get him to listen. He stated he hated is parents and brother, didn't want to live with us, and didn't care about anything in life or what happened to him.
This whole mood swing started because he couldn't go to a varsity soccer game. His mother wanted him to stay home because the last 10 days he was staying at a friends to protect their house from the junior vs senior wars. (Both groups go to certain kids house and toilet paper, throw garbage on the lawns, or leave tires, wash machines ect...). The weekend was filled with a surprise birthday party and a family wedding. - Enough said!
I believe one of the hardest things I have had to deal with lately is the sadness of not curing myself at an early age. I wonder what our family life would have been like if I was at a balanced state. Maybe I would have treated my family different and not been verbally abusive to my wife and children. There were many times I didn't handle situations correctly or had a major blow-up over something very minor. Those thoughts bring tears to my eyes.
My wife always said; Chris what are you going to do when your son gets older and does something really stupid? You react the same way, if he spills his milk or he wrecks the car. You need to have more patience and compassion.I would always say I am compassionate and I have a lot of patience. Well, guess what? I had neither, and didn't realize it until I was on the proper medicine.
With all that said, I am not sure an earlier admittance by myself would have me at the level I am today. Medicines, doctors, some public awareness, and wonderful support groups, have made the mental illness diagnosis easier for someone to admit. Even though I have the negative thoughts, each day living a balanced life brings joy and happiness and lets the light shine through. With the light shining through there is no shadow to hide behind or masks to wear. When I finally admitted to myself I had an illness and needed to take a step outside my shadow, which has been hiding me over the last 20+ years. The light has never been so bright! After taking that first step, I now feel compassionate, have many more emotions than I ever felt existed, and truly care about the real Chris, not the one behind the mask that I wanted others to believe I was. There are so many bright spots to mention, but the most exciting is how I laugh all of the time now with my family. It is so great.
I "HAVE" taken my first step so please try and take yours. Even if it is a baby step, a step forward will help you walk the path, which others have created by admitting they can't live in a shadow their whole life. You need to see the light at the end of the tunnel!!
Stay tuned for Part two: Removing the mask.
We have completed our first month as a new support group in Waukesha, WI. The group is fantastic, filled with wonderful people, and growing every week. Please let others know they are not alone and there are others who completely understand what they are going through.
Thank you and continue to spread the word!
I missed last night's meeting because my sixteen yr old son had a major mood swing and was out of control. It took about three hours to bring him off the ledge and while I tried to be calm, I did raise my voice at times to get him to listen. He stated he hated is parents and brother, didn't want to live with us, and didn't care about anything in life or what happened to him.
This whole mood swing started because he couldn't go to a varsity soccer game. His mother wanted him to stay home because the last 10 days he was staying at a friends to protect their house from the junior vs senior wars. (Both groups go to certain kids house and toilet paper, throw garbage on the lawns, or leave tires, wash machines ect...). The weekend was filled with a surprise birthday party and a family wedding. - Enough said!
I believe one of the hardest things I have had to deal with lately is the sadness of not curing myself at an early age. I wonder what our family life would have been like if I was at a balanced state. Maybe I would have treated my family different and not been verbally abusive to my wife and children. There were many times I didn't handle situations correctly or had a major blow-up over something very minor. Those thoughts bring tears to my eyes.
My wife always said; Chris what are you going to do when your son gets older and does something really stupid? You react the same way, if he spills his milk or he wrecks the car. You need to have more patience and compassion.I would always say I am compassionate and I have a lot of patience. Well, guess what? I had neither, and didn't realize it until I was on the proper medicine.
With all that said, I am not sure an earlier admittance by myself would have me at the level I am today. Medicines, doctors, some public awareness, and wonderful support groups, have made the mental illness diagnosis easier for someone to admit. Even though I have the negative thoughts, each day living a balanced life brings joy and happiness and lets the light shine through. With the light shining through there is no shadow to hide behind or masks to wear. When I finally admitted to myself I had an illness and needed to take a step outside my shadow, which has been hiding me over the last 20+ years. The light has never been so bright! After taking that first step, I now feel compassionate, have many more emotions than I ever felt existed, and truly care about the real Chris, not the one behind the mask that I wanted others to believe I was. There are so many bright spots to mention, but the most exciting is how I laugh all of the time now with my family. It is so great.
I "HAVE" taken my first step so please try and take yours. Even if it is a baby step, a step forward will help you walk the path, which others have created by admitting they can't live in a shadow their whole life. You need to see the light at the end of the tunnel!!
Stay tuned for Part two: Removing the mask.
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